Then he took them to a championship golf course a short drive from their house, where they could play whenever they wanted, have an angel as their caddy, and take in a course that changed every day to resemble the best greens in the world.

“Wonderful!” exclaimed the wife. “What about the green fees?”

“Free,” laughed St. Peter. “Heaven is here.”

They then went on a tour of a five-star restaurant that served an unlimited buffet that included prime rib, lobster, Wagyu beef, exotic vegetables, and dream-like desserts.

Still doubtful, the husband said, “All right, but how much?”

“For the final time, sir… It’s free. Heaven is here!”

The husband paused. “So, are there any low-fat, low-cholesterol options available?”

St. Peter chuckled. “You won’t get sick or put on weight in heaven. Consume anything you like!”

The husband’s face flushed, his fists clenched, and he began yelling at the sky.

Confused, his wife questioned, “What’s wrong?”

He shouted, “THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!” and pointed at her. “We could still be here today if it weren’t for your paleo chicken and bran muffins!”