You spend two hours lining a mold, watching the oven temperature, praying it won’t crack — why, exactly? This Christmas cake relies on four ingredients and bakes itself while you sleep. No suspicious shortcuts: just a method that works.

The first slice reveals everything. A tight crumb, almost as dark as deep gingerbread, dotted with carmine red cherries and plump raisins that tripled in size during soaking. The top stays pale — that’s normal, the slow cooker doesn’t brown — but the inside is as melt-in-the-mouth as a date. The smell is the exact mix of warm chocolate milk and candied fruits that you’d recognize anywhere.